Recently, I've seen others life soar into an unknown universe and then crash being destroyed. It makes me feel so sad that my life is being so grateful to me while others are living off nothing but the dirty scums of the city, or the burning heat of the country. Sometimes it makes me wonder if there was anything I could ever to help get their life back around. I've talked to L about giving them some money, but he opened my eyes to the truth. They only pretend that they have fallen so far that there is no hope, when they are actually just grovelling for others to feel helpless for them to give them money to buy stuff they shouldn't. When he told me that, it made so sick that I actually cared about these people. Their not people at all. They are imposters... liars... traitors.

Whoa... I think I have spent too much time away from postponing when to update my journal. I let my thoughts get all blurted out. Hehe. My bad. I may look giddy on the outside mainly, but I have a deep thought process.

Back to the real world of my life, boy... that sounded selffish. Haha. Well... recently since my son had past at birth, I had actually been doing very well. L has taught me how to control my emotions better and showed me a better way to leave the past and walk into the light of the future. God, I love him so. He makes my life spin around forever. What fun. Anywho... everything has actually been going pretty good for me and L. Hopefully, it will stay that way for a while. It would be nice to have some r&r.

-Love
Alu.